In many spiritual teachings and also through the words of people I know and meet, I discern what I would best describe as form of multiple personality disorder in relationship to the ego. What I observe is a split between the apparent “self” and the so-called “ego”. Yet what is this ego that is talked about as some kind of entity separate to the self that is identifying it and talking about it? Often I hear the ego being talked about in third person — this is me and that is my ego.
In my experience this is a slightly distorted way of relating to the ego and I question the long term benefits of such an approach. The ego is simply our sense of “I”; our sense of self; our sense of I-dentity or what I sometimes call the I-entity. The word entity comes from entitas, which relates to character/nature of being also a relation establishing that a thing exists. The I-entity (our identity) is that character of self that we use to establish that “I” exists. On planet Earth the existence of the “I” is, as far as I know, unique to human beings.
Is there something wrong with people having a sense of self existence? Is there something life-taking about a person having a sense of the “I” within their awareness? In my experience, many religions and spiritual paths and New Age teachings suggest there is, yet I disagree.
I think that where we get into problems is not so much that we have ego (a sense of self) but rather that at our present level of evolution in consciousness we (the vast majority of human beings) have a relatively limited and oftentimes distorted awareness of what the “I” actually incorporates. I don’t see this as some sort of error or fault in the human psyche but rather a natural consequence of the present state of development within humanity. Would we condemn the caterpillar for identifying with the particular form it takes in that stage of its development, ignorant of the butterfly that is yet to come? Of course not.
What I would like to suggest to you is this. The ego is not something to be suppressed, denied, controlled, condemned, or destroyed. This is as mad as trying to destroy the caterpillar in order to bring about the butterfly. I’ve seen much reference to the notion of transcending the ego, and again it is so often suggest that this is done through some form of separating from the ego (in some way), possibly squashing it (in some way), and voila, we go beyond it. Yet how effective is this? Really?
Would it not be more sensible to heal the ego in its present state–to heal our sense of self in out present state–so that this sense of sense may evolve into an even higher, fuller, and more spiritually integrated Being? The problems the ego appears to create in this world are the natural result of where it is presently at within its evolution. Just as the monarch caterpillar completely ravages the Swan plant before it establishes its chrysalis and eventually emerges as a butterfly, the ego is also ravaging its world. I’ve seen caterpillars ravage a Swan plant to the degree that the chrysalis’ already formed are chewed off, so they drop to the ground and die. Just this past summer I had a Swan plant which started out with about 15 caterpillars. Eventually only one chrysalis remained hanging, to eventually produce a butterfly. Many other rotted on the ground. Each of these caterpillars was behaving selfishly (moving toward the self) yet at their present state of evolution (in terms of consciousness) their appreciation of what that self is is rather limited. Human beings have the inbuilt capacity to operate at a level well beyond that of the caterpillar.
As I was saying, the key is to heal the ego–to heal our limited, dysfunctional, and disfunctional sense of self. Our ego in its present state is setting us–individually and collectively–up with the exact challenges we require in order to evolve to the next natural state of the Human being. The question is, will a few consume the Swan plant at the expense of everyone else or will we do it some other way that incorporates the life, development, and evolution of all beings?
I think that separating from what we call the ego is a mis-take, just as much as it is a mis-take to think that our limited egoic self is the sum total of what it means (or could mean) to be human. I think one only has to look at India and America to see an example of each of these extremes playing out and the pain and suffering each approach to reality brings about. In a place like India one can find the height of development of spiritual tradition and exploration along with the denial or at least the devaluation of the ego-self. The result is a country that is on the one hand immensely “spiritual” and spiritually enriched and yet on the other hand in deeply impoverished with people suffering and dying through starvation, poverty, abuse, caste segregation, and exploitation.
In a country like America we find a very different and yet paradoxically a very similar situation. The ego rules. The ego is it, the be-all and end-all of what life is about. The resent popularity of the movie The Secret is just one tribute to this, where spiritual principles are being promoted (at great financial profit) as a means to the ultimate satisfaction of the ego’s many delude desires and addictions. I think the capitalization and commercialization of materialism in America is the commercialization of the ego in its present state of evolution–that of being identified with a purely physical (even machine-like) body and the emotions, thoughts, and desires experienced within the framework of that body. Yet here in a country of ego-maniacs and ego-gratification we again find the same situation. People dying not of starvation but of greed and obesity and health degeneration that results from such greed. Oddly, death by starvation and death by chronic gluttony are both caused by malnutrition! In the USA we find a nation of people living in relative luxury yet at the same time impoverished with debt, the relatively absence of heart, and a level of consciousness devoid of true spirituality.
Of course, in both situation there are exceptions. If you’re reading this it’s probable you are one of those exceptions. I don’t wish to nullify the reality of those are an exception to the norm in either of these nations. I fully acknowledge I am using two generalizations to make a point. Generalizations that I think have a great deal of basis in reality.
So, in my experience I observe that neither of these approaches is in itself the answer. Denial of ego and worship of the ego both represent a limited approach to the reality of the Self and the evolution of awareness. Each is a stepping stone along the path we are all on–”we” being humanity. Each brings important lessons in the form of challenges that move the human collective toward something that is evolving toward a greater embodiment of awareness, and a fuller expression of Divinity.
The key is to expand our sense of self–our I-entity–so that it incorporates more of what is real and less of what is unreal. What I am referring to is not about the inflation of the ego the results in egomania, but rather in each human being expand their awareness of “That which I AM” beyond the limitations it is presently faced with. Just like the caterpillar must answer the call to let go of its present sense of identity so that it might arise from that chrysalis as a butterfly.
Dan Gilbert, author of the best selling book, Stumbling on Happiness, talks on Synthetic Happiness, Freedom of Choice, and the poor assumptions people make in their pursuit of being happy.
Dan Gilbert’s research on happiness is significant. His ideas give us a better understanding of how our mind can’t be trusted in this important life matter. However it is not with more ideas that we become happier. It is with action. Not just any action, but skillful action.
The other day I stumbled upon The Conscious Media Network web site.
Here you will find a fantastic resource of media files from a wide range of people on the topics of health, healing, consciousness, spirituality, religion, and much more. Obviously the general theme is “consciousness”.
Some (just a few) of the contributors are:
… and there are hundreds of other people and topics.
Enjoy!
Technorati Tags: Consciousness, health, healing
You don’t need to be ready to heal emotionally in order to heal.
I often witness people who don’t feel ready to heal emotionally. They come up to the edge of taking action to free themselves from emotional pain, only to back away. Their mind has many stories as to why, but at the core it is often the same basic reason. They are afraid. It’s kind of crazy to think that people would be afraid of healing their emotions, but I never said that people were logical.
I’ll get into the fear of emotional healing later.
The inspiration for this post comes from a conversation I had the other day with woman we will call Kelly. I had spoken to her a few months about some jealousy issues that was poisoning the relationship with her partner. She had listened to a couple of the free sessions in the Self Mastery course and was encouraged at the possibility of change. She was going to sign up for the remaining sessions and do some individual session with me to focus on her specific beliefs and behaviors. Kelly didn’t sign up for the program and she didn’t schedule a session with me.
When I ran into here recently she brought up her lack of action. Her explanation to her self and me was that she was not ready to heal emotionally.
I could go in a lot of directions with this material but just want to focus on the sabotaging logic of the ego mind that is operating here. From a certain angle it is the truth, people don’t feel ready to heal emotionally. However that is no reason not to engage the process.
Thinking and feeling that we are not ready for emotional healing is a factual truth that hides a self sabotaging lie. It’s not the feeling of not being ready that stops us it is the hidden lie that keeps us from taking action. The hidden lie is that we need to be ready to heal emotionally in order to start.
We were not ready to learn to walk when we first began taking steps. When we began to learn to read, we weren’t ready to read. When people begin having sex they generally had no training to prepare them. When parents have their first children, they don’t’ feel ready either. Not only do parents have no experience in being parents, but those kids don’t even come with an instruction booklet.
When we take on any endeavor worth doing in our life it is new until we have been doing it a while. In the beginning we are learning to do something and we stumble through it as best we can. We are never going to be ready to do something that we have no experience doing. But that doesn’t stop us.
When we endeavor eliminating our emotional reactions and cleaning up the projections in our mind we are taking on a task that we have never done before. If you haven’t done much of it before then you probably are not very skilled at emotional healing. The next line of hidden logic is that if you aren’t very good at emotionally healing then you shouldn’t start. Of course if we use this logic we will never do anything different in our life.
It is this kind of hidden belief that is buried into the meaning of these words. “I’m not ready for emotional healing.”
If we only do the things we are ready for we would only do the things we already know how to do. If this were the case we would never learn to walk, read, take up a hobby, have sex, or raise children.
The mind is a peculiar thing. It can propose the idea that we are not ready to heal emotionally. It can even make that idea appear to be factual. It is true that if we haven’t done something before that we are not skilled and proficient at it. This may be a fair assessment.
But then the mind does something amazing. It is so subtle that we don’t notice it unless we spend some time developing awareness. The mind tricks us into accepting the idea of not being ready and assumes the decision to stop. Without words it ends the investigation and stops all action on that one note. An unconscious decision has been made. The ego mind fixates on one bit of information and uses that one fact to determine the whole stopping of our personal and emotional growth. All other desires, considerations for the health of our relationships, and future happiness are discarded with this fixation on one fact. The mind invites us to go unconscious and become unaware of all these other considerations.
This is the kind of unconscious logic and decision making of the ego mind that keeps us in loops of emotional suffering.
The path to freedom from this kind of self destructive logic is awareness and healthy skepticism. If we develop self awareness we will learn to see past these misdirection traps of words, and hidden decisions. A healthy skepticism and a process of questioning will pull apart the misguiding logic and free us from such an ego mind.
Being a skeptic is an opportunity for freedom from emotional suffering. If we are a skeptic we will question the logic that says if we don’t feel ready then we shouldn’t begin the process of emotional healing.
A skeptic will scrutinize this type of logic and realize that if they followed it they wouldn’t attempt or do much of anything in their life.
A skeptic will realize that you become ready to do something by doing it over and over again until you get good at it. You become ready to heal emotionally by doing things that don’t work out and then doing them again until they do. You don’t become ready to do anything by hesitating and waiting.
Many times you only become ready to do something after you have been doing it for a while. You will only really feel ready to ride a bike after riding long enough that you stop feeling nervous. You will feel more comfortable in raising children after yours are grown. You’ll feel more comfortable with sex after you have been practicing a while. The same is true for emotional change. You will only feel ready to heal emotionally after you practice working through some of the stories and beliefs in your mind.
The Catch 22 for Kelly is that if she waits until she is ready before taking action she won’t ever take action. If she starts when she feels ready she won’t every heal emotionally.
In the Self Mastery Audio course there are exercises that will help you to be a healthy skeptic of the self defeating logic in your mind. There are also exercises for emotional healing. If you are not yet ready to heal emotionally it would be a good time to start.
